A New Perspective

I blogged...to remember this fearful day that is just my beginning to future.

Lately, had some serious dispute with my mum and is all bout family matters. Despite her unreasonable expectation, i still remain in slient. I felt we have distance ever since my sister is getting married and she begin to feel empty and left out in her heart. Then she vent anger and say all the hurting words in front of my er jie & me. I felt very disappointed with what she have always been expecting and dont preach what she say. She is someone whose very confuse and fickled minded mum. For that i always can forgive. But this time was too much. I felt left out in the house and feel everyone is living under her shadow bcus they are afraid. She always talks about money and money and money. I know only giving her more money she will be happy. I realise my da jie gave her more money cus she gets better pay and better education. So it is no doubt that she have to repay her. But since she knows we are working with just average pay, she knows we cldnt give as much as her. So why she is unhappy? I really dont understand her at times. Sometimes she can say until very nice like a understanding mum. The next day she can say the truth she has been keeping inside her heart which means she has been lying bout. Her words are always very contridicting which i think is no more important to me. I 've come to my sense that she will regret for what she had always think is right. The fact is she dont know what is the truth. The only solution is to give her what she wants and stay slient. No comments is the best. I dont talk doesnt mean i m angry. I dont talk bcus i need to protect myself and to endure her rubbish. i hate what my da jie said bout us. She say we must remember our roots. What the F*ck? You got your roots from the start, and you got things easily from the start w/o any difficulty. You say root to us? I think is root your foot! When you are in o/sea study who stayed behind to endure all this rubbish and sacrify? If you were to say bout roots, you would have been kind enough to help mum in paying for our education. But did you? You only think you've got everything for yourself. And we are still sruggling alone to achieve what you had in the past. I think she and mum is a kind. And for that i will never ever believe or need them in anyways. I will never forget this day.